Our Universe: The Call to Adventure

We have all probably at one time paused to think about the grandeur and size of our universe. Earth’s sky reveals only about 3,000 stars to the naked eye. But our universe likely contains more than 100 billion galaxies, and each of those galaxies may have more than 100 billion stars. It is mind blowing.

And it wasn’t until after 1990 that we discovered there were other planets circling many of these other stars beyond our solar system. The Hubble Telescope has allowed us to see distant planets that were previously unknown.

In April of 2013 a team of scientists discovered that two of five planets circling the star Kepler 62 lie within the star’s habitable zone. They are roughly the size and mass of Earth. It isn’t known if the planets have atmospheres, but it creates excitements for these teams as they continue to explore and discover more about our universe.

And not only did we learn of new planets from the Hubble, but we learned of new galaxies too. This discovery has been called Hubble’s Deep Field. Here is a short description.

No telescope before Hubble had the resolution to see these distant galaxies. Intrigued, astronomers turned Hubble on what appeared to be a nearly empty patch of sky and let it soak up all the light it could for 10 days. They were taking a risk – most Hubble observations take just hours, and the time being eaten up could have been used for more concrete needs. It was possible the objects the astronomers were looking for would be too faint or small for even Hubble to see. But the results turned up a treasure trove: 3,000 galaxies, large and small, shapely and amorphous, burning in the depths of space. The stunning image was called the Hubble Deep Field. (http://hubblesite.org/hubble_discoveries/breakthroughs/cosmology)

Does that create a sense of awe in you? Does it heighten your sense of a call to adventure? I believe this is part of what was put in us when God created us. The Bible teaches us that God created within us the ability to have dominion over his creation. This is the origin of our desire to explore, discover, and create.

This is why many of us connect with movies like Star Trek. We want to be like their crew and “go where no man has gone before.” But science fiction movies have only tapped the surface of our fascination and imagination for exploration.

Part of the problem is that we experience the frustration of our mortality and limitations of time and space. The Bible teaches us that “He (God) has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” (Ecc 3:11 ESV)

This tells us that we have a sense that life continues beyond our present existence. The Hebrew word, matsa’ used in this verse for “find,” or “find out” has the sense of “figure out, comprehend by study.” Meaning our desire to explore, study, and comprehend was put into our hearts by God. There is an eternity of opportunity to explore and understand but our mortality limits us.

Could it be that these longings are pointing us to a possible future when we will have time and ability to explore all of the universe without limitations? I believe so.

Jesus promised eternal life to all who trust in him. And while our eternal life can begin now on earth, ultimately we look forward to a time when our current mortality will no longer be a hindrance We will live forever and thus have forever to explore the mysteries of our universe.

And as great as that thought is, there is a greater thought and greater call to adventure and exploration. The call to explore the grandeur creativity, and vastness of our Creator. Listen to this verse found in Psalm 19:1-2. “The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” All of what we see with our eyes and through the Hubble reflect the glory of God. They are telling us continually of the greatness of our God.

For as incredible as the universe is, it was thought up in the mind of God. A God who not only created but occupies every part of space and time continually in the universe. In addition, he holds it all together as he oversees and controls every small intricate part of it. That is a BIG God. We will not only need an eternity to explore the universe but we will need an eternity to continually enjoy, learn, and worship the majesty and glory of our Creator.

This brings me to a myth that I want to dispel. Don’t miss this and don’t let the lies that have been perpetuated blind you to a very real truth. Our existence in Heaven and the New Heaven and Earth to come will not be boring! For it is there we will get to forever explore the beauty and majesty of God and all his creation.

So, as science continues to reveal amazing discoveries about our universe, let it be a spark that fuels your longing for eternity. Let it seep deep into your conscience as you develop an eternal perspective of life. And let it continue to fuel your desire to explore and embolden your call to adventure. Let it motivate you to seek the God that created it all. He invites you. “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.” (Jeremiah 33:3).

Important next steps for a new believer in Christ to know and do

1. Know that you are following a person, not a religion, and that you are deeply loved by your Heavenly Father.

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6)

“For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)

Christianity is based on a personal loving relationship with our Heavenly Father. God loves you unconditionally. There is nothing you can do to make him love you more and there is nothing you can do to make him love you less.

Because it is relational, the emphasis is on the call to follow the person of Jesus Christ. It isn’t a journey and call to follow a religion, rules, or traditions.

 2. Know that following Christ is a life long journey.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

This life long journey of following Christ is compared to a race. A race set before us by God. Because it is life-long it will require endurance. It is a marathon, not a sprint.

The good news is that it is a race that Jesus has already completed. He set the example for us as we run. So we have to continually fix our spiritual eyes on him. So, while your sins are instantly forgiven and you are made perfectly righteous in God’s eyes, it will take a life time of following Christ to grow spiritually.

Much of this journey involves getting your eyes off of self and on God. It is a life long journey of becoming less self-centered and more Christ centered in regards to our beliefs and actions. So don’t let temporary set-backs and failures discourage you from the big picture. You will stumble and fall along the way. Your destination is secure. Keep the end in mind.

3. Know that you can’t lose your salvation.

“For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” (John 6:40)

“I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.” (John 10:28-30)

Your salvation is eternally secure. No one can snatch you out of God’s hand. Eternal life by definition can never be taken away. You belong to Jesus and to your Heavenly Father.

4. Live your life in light of God’s grace.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Your salvation was received by grace and it is by grace that you will live out your salvation. You won’t always get everything “right”. You will make bad decisions from time to time. You will still struggle with sin although you have been freed from the bondage of sin.

While you are completely forgiven for all past, present, and future sins, you will not be perfected in this life. Your character and conduct will be changed over time.

Your growth as a believer will increase over the course of your life. But it is never completed in this life. It is completed at death (for our souls) and when Jesus returns (for our bodies). Receive the grace of God as you follow Christ. Don’t beat yourself up when you fail, rather embrace the grace of God.

5. Read, interpret, and apply the teachings of the Bible.

“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” (Hebrews 4:12)

Start by getting a good translation of the Bible like the English Standard Version. Other good translations include the NLT, NIV, NAS, NKJV. Most translations of the Bible have a study version which gives you historical background and gives additional insight into interpreting difficult passages. This will be helpful as you read and apply God’s word to your life.

Reading the Bible is the primary way you hear from God and get to know him better. Regular and consistent Bible reading is one of the most important disciplines for your journey. Stay connected to a church where the word of God is taught. You can also learn from other good Bible teachers whom God has gifted to help equip followers of Christ.

You don’t have to read the Bible in the same way you read a novel. Meaning you don’t have to start with the first book of the bible. The Bible is actually comprised of 66 different books. The gospel of John in the New Testament is a great place to start as it gives you a good overview of the life and teachings of Jesus. Try reading a chapter a day for 21 days. You can also find other reading plans at youversion.com.

6.Pray continually.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:7-11)

“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

Because your journey is relational, you need to talk to God continually along the way. That is exactly what prayer is. Talking to God. Share your gratitude, your requests, and things on your heart and mind. He will answer you. And his peace will guard your heart and mind.

7. Do not depend on feelings.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

The trustworthiness of God himself and his word is the authority to base your life on. Feelings and emotions come and go. Some days you won’t feel close to God. You might not feel like going to church. You might not feel like loving that person who is difficult to love at times. Don’t base your acceptance of God based on your feelings. They are not trustworthy. Rather base your acceptance on the truth of God and his word. That is what living by faith is all about.

8. Trust God with all the details of your life.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

You will not understand everything that is going on in your life. Nor will you understand all of God’s ways. God wants you to depend on him and trust him. Trusting goes beyond intellectual assent to a deep reliance on God’s provision and direction of your life.

9. Know that you have a helper in the Holy Spirit.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26)

“In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 1:13)

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. (Galatians 5:16)

Every believer is indwelt by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a person of the Trinity and not a force. There are many personal actions of the Holy Spirit. He teaches, speaks, makes decisions, grieves over sin, and searches the deep things of God. He determines the distribution of spiritual gifts, interprets and brings human prayer to the throne of the Father, assures believers of their adoption, bears witness to Christ, and glorifies Christ.

While the indwelling of the Holy Spirit is a one-time event for all believers in Christ, the filling of the Spirit is a reoccurring event. We are to be filled with the Spirit over and over again. Such repeated fillings may result in renewed worship and thanksgiving, renewed relationships with others, greater growth and sanctification in our lives, and increased power and effectiveness for ministry.

10. Obey God moment by moment.

“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments.” (I John 5:2)

Spiritual growth is always about doing that which you know you need to do next. Allow Jesus to direct you concerning the changes and adjustment you need to make to your life. As he shows you things you need to do or not do, obey him with the help and power of his Holy Spirit that lives in you.

11. Know that meeting with other followers of Christ is essential to your growth.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)

There are multiple ways to meet with other followers of Christ as you grow. One is by attending corporate worship. Make this a priority in your life. A second way is by joining a smaller group of followers of Christ. Find a good small group or Bible study to participate in. Third, find a person of the same gender who is further down the road of following Christ. Spend time with them and learn from them.

12. Develop an eternal perspective.

“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” (John 14:3)

“For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come.” (Hebrews 13:14)

Whatever you face in this life, don’t forget your eternal destination. This world is not your home. You are promised an eternity in Paradise where sin, sickness, and death will be forever eradicated. You will face trouble in this life but you will eventually overcome the world just as Jesus did.

Two misunderstood and misapplied biblical passages concerning tattoos

My nephew just got a new tattoo last week in honor and memory of his mother who passed away last year. I love the way in which he has honored his mother. It has prompted some conversations about what the bible says about tattoos.

There are two passages from the Bible that people often refer to when it comes to forbidding tattoos. Both of these passages are often misunderstood and then misapplied.

When passages or verses are misapplied and wrongly interpreted, we proof text. Proof texting “is the practice of using isolated quotations from a document to establish a proposition”. Unfortunately, proof texting from the Bible happens all the time. Often when people are trying to establish or defend a position. I have been guilty of this before.

The first verse that is often used to proof text the forbidding of tattoos comes from the Old Testament.

“You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28 ESV).

I think most people who quote this verse in order to forbid tattoos have good intentions. They read the bible saying “you shall not” and therefore assume that this verse applies to things we should or shouldn’t do today. There is a simple step that is missed here though when it comes to applying the bible to our lives.

I was introduced to a book in seminary that helped me to understand this principle. It changed my approach to reading, understanding, and  interpreting the Bible. It is called “How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth” by Gordon Fee and Douglas Stuart. They share two important steps they say are critical to good interpretation of the bible.

The first task is to understand the “then and there”. This is called exegesis. Fee and Stuart describe exegesis as “the careful, systematic study of the Scripture to discover the original, intended meaning.” They add that this “is basically a historical task.”

The second task is to understand the meaning in the “here and now”.  This is called hermeneutics. This has to do with applying the teaching of the Bible to our lives today.

The problem is that we often skip exegesis, the “then and there”, and jump right into the “here and now”. Fee and Stuart say that “in order to be true to the Bible you must understand the original intent and meaning of the text.” A text cannot mean what it never meant. This removes some of the subjectivity we bring to the Bible.

So let’s look at the verse above using these two principles. We begin with the original intended meaning of this verse. This requires understanding the historical context.

To understand the historical context of this verse we need to recognize that this passage is part of the Old Testament law. The law was given specifically to the Israelites after being delivered from Egypt. God was given instructions to them regarding their holiness in all aspects of life.

The Israeties  were to be very different from the pagan nations that surrounded them.  The pagans in the surrounding nations would cut and disfigure their body as signs of mourning and to secure the attention of their gods. God did not require nor want the Israelites to do these things. This prohibition was specific to this group of people.

Look at some of the other laws given to this group of people that people often miss in the preceding verses. “You shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor shall you wear a garment of cloth made of two kinds of material.” (Lev 19:19) People that forbid tattooing because of Lev. 19:28 don’t typically quote Lev. 19:19 that forbids wearing clothes made of wool and cotton or polyester. Nor do they forbid people from planting tomatoes and green beans in their garden.

So, as we think about the application of this today, we need to understand the nature of the Old Testament law. Fee and Stuart give six important guidelines to help us. These are important to understand as you read any command in the Old Testament.

1. The Old Testament law is a covenant.

A covenant is a binding contract between two parties, both of whom have obligations specified in the covenant. This covenant was between God, “Yahweh”, and the nation of Israel. So even though we are not expected to “keep” these laws, they are essential for us to read and know if we are going to appreciate the biblical Story—God’s Story—and our own place in the Story.

2. The Old Testament is not our Testament.

There have been changes from the old covenant to the new covenant. God expects of his people—us—somewhat different evidences of obedience and loyalty from those he expected from the Old Testament Israelites. We should assume, in fact, that none of its stipulations (laws) are binding on us unless they are renewed in the new covenant.

3. Two kinds of old-covenant stipulations have clearly not been renewed in the new covenant.

While a complete coverage of the categories of Old Testament law would take a book of its own, the portion of laws from the Pentateuch that no longer apply to Christians can be grouped conveniently into two categories: (1) the Israelite civil laws and (2) the Israelite ritual laws. While some Old Testament laws do still apply to us, these do not.

4. Part of the old covenant is renewed in the new covenant.

Some aspects of the Old Testament ethical law are actually restated in the New Testament as applicable to Christians. But such laws derive their continued applicability from the fact that they serve to support the two basic laws of the new covenant, on which depend all the Law and the Prophets (Matt 22:40): “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (see Deut 6:5) and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (see Lev 19:18).

5. All of the Old Testament law is still the Word of God for us even though it is not still the command of God to us.

This fits into our understanding of the Law as part of Israel’s story, since we cannot know the significance of our story, the story of the new covenant, without knowing well how the Law functioned in Israel’s story, the story of the former covenant. Also, the Bible contains all sorts of commands that God wants us to know about, which are not directed toward us personally.

6. Only that which is explicitly renewed from the Old Testament law can be considered part of the New Testament “law of Christ”.

Included in such a category would be the Ten Commandments, since they are cited in various ways in the New Testament as still binding on Christians (see Matt 5:21–37; John 7:23). And the two great commandments from Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18. No other specific Old Testament laws can be proved to be strictly binding on Christians.

So we are not bound to this law because it was fulfilled by Christ. It is not renewed in the New Testament. Therefore, Christians today are not under the law that forbid Israelites from tattooing their body. So we shouldn’t try to enforce this law on people today. If we do, we become guilty of proof texting, bad interpreation, and legalism.

So how about this verse that is found in the New Testament?

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?” (1 Cor 6:19)

If we seek to exegete this verse, we need to understand the “then and there”. Why was Paul saying this to this group of people? To do that you need to first read this verse in context of the paragraph and chapter 6 of Corinthians. When you do, it will shed light on the original intent and meaning of this passage.

Paul was addressing sexual misconduct in this church. Christians were having sex with prostitutes. They thought that sexual activity had no bearing on a person’s spiritual life. Paul was correcting this wrong assumption. In the verse prior Paul says that we should “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.”

So when Paul is reminding us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, it is done in context of sexual immorality. Not tattoos. He wasn’t telling the church this so they wouldn’t get tattoos. He was telling them this to remind them of the unique nature of sexual sin and that they should flee from it.

I hope you can see from the Leviticus and Corinthian passages that good exegesis helps you avoid misunderstanding and misapplication of not only these passages but any passage of scripture. This will hopefully help you and me to be to be better readers, interpreters, and doers of God’s word.

Marriage Mondays – How to solve disagreements without arguing

I have married the wrong person. Surely if I had married the right person, it would not be like this. That is what Gary Chapman shared after he experienced conflict in his first year of marriage. He says, “I’m sure that Karolyn had the same thoughts.”

He goes to say, “In talking with older couples, we later discovered that all marriages have conflicts. Some couples learn how to resolve conflicts in a friendly manner while others resort to heated arguments. We definitely fell into the last category.”

“I knew that my idea was the best idea. Of course, she felt the same way about her ideas.” That is how we all probably feel during moments of conflict.

Gary has spent thirty plus years in counseling. Over this time, He has learned ways to solve disagreements without arguing. The following are excerpts from his book , Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married”.

Accept the reality that you will have conflicts.

Conflicts are not a sign that you have married the wrong person. They simply affirm that you are human. We all tend to assume that our ideas are the best ideas. What we fail to recognize is that our spouse has the same opinion of their ideas.

Their logic will not agree with your logic, and their emotions will not mirror your own. Our ideas and perceptions of life are influenced by our history, our values, and our personality. And these factors are different for each of us.

Some of our conflicts will be major; some of our conflicts will be minor. The conflict over how to load a dishwasher falls into the minor category. The conflict over whether or not to have a baby is definitely in the major league.

Large or small, all conflicts have the potential of destroying an evening, a week, a month, or a lifetime. On the other hand, conflicts have the potential of teaching us how to love, support, and encourage each other. This is by far the better road to travel. The difference is in how you process the conflicts.

Request a listening time.

One woman said, “The most helpful thing that came out of our first counseling session with you was the idea of requesting a ‘listening time.’ Before that I had always said to my husband, ‘We need to talk.’ That sentence always put him in a bad mood.

Now I say, ‘At your convenience, I would like to request a time that I can listen to you.’ He never waits long until he says to me, ‘So, you want to listen to my ideas, right?’ ‘Yes,’ I respond and we set a time for listening. Requesting a time for listening creates a much different atmosphere.”

“So, how does your listening time begin?” I asked. “He normally says, ‘So, you want to listen? What’s the topic?’ Then I say, ‘The topic is, how are we going to spend the Christmas holidays?’, or whatever conflict I have on my mind.

We have agreed to discuss only one topic at a time. He shares what he wants to do during the holidays, and I genuinely try to understand not only what he is suggesting but why he is suggesting it and how important it is to him.

I often ask questions to clarify his statements such as, ‘Are you saying that you want us to spend Christmas with your parents because your father has cancer and you don’t anticipate he will be here next Christmas?’ Once I’ve asked all my questions to clarify what he is saying, I then respond, ‘That makes a lot of sense. I can understand that.’

“Then he says, ‘Now that you know what’s on my mind, I would like to have a listening time to hear your perspective on the topic.’ So I share my perspective while he listens and tries to understand.

He may also ask questions to clarify such as, ‘Are you saying that you want us to spend Christmas with your parents because your sister from California is going to be there and she only comes once every five years and you would hate to miss this opportunity to spend time with her?’

Once he’s asked all his questions and listens to my responses, he says to me, ‘That makes a lot of sense. I think I understand what you’re saying.’ We have not yet resolved our differences, but we do understand each other and have affirmed each other’s ideas. We are no longer enemies. We have refused to argue. We are friends who are now going to look for a solution to our conflict.”

What this wife described to me was the process that I have taught many couples in my counseling office through the years. It is based on the concept of showing genuine respect for the other individual, giving them full freedom to think their own thoughts, have their own opinions, and have their own reasons for these opinions. It is expressing understanding and affirming that their ideas make sense. It takes away the adversarial atmosphere in resolving conflicts and creates an atmosphere of friendship.

Comprise.

The big word in finding a solution is “compromise.” Often we think of the word compromise as a negative word. People are often warned about compromising their values or beliefs.

However, compromise in a marriage is not only positive but it is necessary. Compromise means to find a meeting place. It requires each of you to be willing to give up something in order to have harmony in the marriage.

If, on the other hand, we both insist on having our way, then we are back in the argument mode. In marriage it is never “having my way.” It is rather discovering “our” way.

Here are three ways to find solutions without arguing.

1. Meeting in the Middle.

There is always a solution to conflicts. Two individuals who choose to be friends will find that solution.

Meeting in the Middle involves finding a meeting place in the middle of your original ideas that both of you agree is workable. This will involve some sacrifice from each person in order to find a harmonious solution.

2. Meeting on your side.

Meeting on your side means that after you hear each other’s ideas and feelings, one of you decides that on this occasion, it is best to do what the other has in mind. This is a total sacrifice of your original idea, choosing rather to do what your spouse desires and to do it with a positive attitude.

You are choosing to do what they desire as an act of love because you care about them and you see how important it is to them.

One husband said, “I agreed to have a baby after she explained to me that she was getting near the end of her fertility cycle. When I saw her heart, I didn’t want to take the chance of disappointing her. We had always agreed that we wanted to have children. I just thought it wasn’t the right time. I wanted to wait until we had a better financial base. But as I listened to her and saw how important it was to her, I agreed that even though I had some fears, I thought we should go ahead and try to have a baby now. We did and I have never regretted that decision.”

Sometimes the decision to agree with the other person’s idea will involve great sacrifice. However, love always involves some sacrifice.

3. Meeting Later.

This approach says, “At the moment, I’m not able to conscientiously agree with your idea, and I don’t see a place to meet in the middle. Can we just agree that for the moment, we disagree on this? And we will discuss it again in a week or month, and look for a solution.

In the meantime, we will love each other, enjoy each other, and support each other. This will not be a disruptive factor in our marriage.” This is a perfectly legitimate response to a conflict when, at the moment, you cannot find a long-term solution. A month from now, things may look different or new possibilities may come to mind so that you can find a compromise with which both of you will feel good.

In some areas of life, “meeting later” can be a permanent solution, especially in areas where there is no “right” or “wrong” answer, whether it is squeezing the toothpaste tube, loading the dishwasher, or personal tastes in entertainment. Essentially, we agree to disagree on what is the logical thing to do, and we choose a practical solution.

So that, for instance, you can agree that when he loads it, he can load it his way; when she loads it, she can load it her way. Or one night let her pick the movie and on another night let him do the selecting. In one of these three ways, you can resolve your conflicts.

The key, of course, is creating a friendly atmosphere by listening to each other and affirming each other’s perspective rather than accusing each other of illogical thinking. When we learn to affirm each other’s ideas and look for solutions, we can process the normal conflicts in a marriage relationship and learn to work together as a team. I wish someone had told me how to do this before Karolyn and I got married. It would have saved hours of wasted and meaningless arguments.

Memorize this question and use it the next time you have a conflict: “How can we resolve this conflict so that both of us feel loved and appreciated?”

 

Passion Week – Thursday – Part 3

Here are the  next events that happened on Thursday of Passion week with the help of notes from the ESV Online Study Bible. The next events that occurred are:

• Jesus foretells Peter’s denials
• Jesus gives his disciples practical commands about supplies and provisions
• Jesus and the disciples go to Gethsemane, where he struggles in prayer and they struggle to stay awake late into the night

Jesus foretells Peter’s denials

Then Jesus said to them, “You will all fall away because of me this night. For it is written, ‘I will strike the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock will be scattered.’ But after I am raised up, I will go before you to Galilee.” Peter answered him, “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” Jesus said to him, “Truly, I tell you, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” Peter said to him, “Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!” And all the disciples said the same. (Matthew 26:31-35 ESV)

Other Passages include Mark 14:27-31 and Luke 22:31-34

The use of Peter’s pre-Christian name forebodes his denial. Peter fails to heed Jesus’ warning and underestimates the extreme test of faith they will all soon encounter.  They are swayed by Peter’s bravado.

Jesus says, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.” (Luke 22:31-32 ESV)  In other words, “Satan is seeking to shake you all violently, as one does wheat, to cause you to fall” In Peter’s case, the shaking was to be his panic-prompted, thrice-repeated denial that he knew Christ.

“You” is plural in these two instances, indicating that all the disciples are in view, not just Peter. All the disciples will forsake Jesus and run. They will not cease being his disciples, but they will fail to stand with him in the face of persecution.

Jesus is confident that, following this dispersion, he will once again gather his flock. He will graciously restore the disciples back to fellowship with himself following their failure to stand.

Jesus gives his disciples practical commands about supplies and provisions

And he said to them, “When I sent you out with no moneybag or knapsack or sandals, did you lack anything?” They said, “Nothing.” He said to them, “But now let the one who has a moneybag take it, and likewise a knapsack. And let the one who has no sword sell his cloak and buy one. For I tell you that this Scripture must be fulfilled in me: ‘And he was numbered with the transgressors.’ For what is written about me has its fulfillment.” And they said, “Look, Lord, here are two swords.” And he said to them, “It is enough.” (Luke 22:35-38 ESV)

Earlier in his ministry, Jesus sent his disciples outwith no moneybag. Now, however, they will need extra provisions and supplies.

Many interpreters take this command to buy a sword as a metaphorical statement commanding the disciples to be armed spiritually to fight spiritual foes. As in just moments later Jesus will again prohibit the use of a literal sword. Others take this as a command to have a literal sword for self-defense and protection from robbers. The very fact that the disciples possess swords suggests that Jesus has not prohibited them from carrying swords up to this point. Jesus never prohibited self-defense.

Jesus’ coming suffering and death are a “divine necessity”. God’s providential plan must be fulfilled.

Jesus and the disciples go to Gethsemane, where he struggles in prayer and they struggle to stay awake late into the night.

Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” And he came to the disciples and found them sleeping. And he said to Peter, “So, could you not watch with me one hour? Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” And again he came and found them sleeping, for their eyes were heavy. So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. Then he came to the disciples and said to them, “Sleep and take your rest later on. See, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going; see, my betrayer is at hand.” (Matthew 26:36-46 ESV)

Other passages include Mark 14:32-42 and Luke 22:40-46.

Jesus asks his inner circle of disciples (Peter, James, and John) to share with him this agonizing time of anticipation and sorrow as he faces the cross. Their temptation was to succumb to physical sleep and so fail in their responsibility to support Jesus.

Jesus withdrew … about a stone’s throw, enough to be alone but close enough for the disciples to overhear him praying. In this typical posture of abject humility in prayer, Jesus lays his life before his Father in complete honesty and surrender. Jesus is facing the most severe temptation of his life, at the moment when he is ready to accomplish the culmination of his life’s mission—to bear the sins of the world—which is what this cup signifies.

Jesus was in agony in anticipation of bearing “our sins in his own body on the tree”. He prayed more earnestly. His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground. Sweating blood is a condition known as hematidrosis, where extreme anguish or physical strain causes one’s capillary blood vessels to dilate and burst, mixing sweat and blood. Jesus experiences intense emotional and physical trauma.

It had been a long day, and the disciples were emotionally and physically exhausted. Jesus is totally forsaken, his disciples are sleeping.  ”And when he rose from prayer, he came to the disciples and found them sleeping for sorrow.” (Luke 22:45 ESV)

Despite his own suffering, Jesus still calls his disciples to trusting prayer and watchfulness in the midst of temptation. He tells them, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” (Mark 14:38 ESV) Well-intentioned believers can easily fail to fulfill their calling by merely giving in to various physical needs or desires.

The “hour is at hand” refers to the time of Jesus’ death and of his bearing divine judgment. This is also the time of his being given into the hands of sinners. Jesus accepts the reality of his coming death.

Click on the image below to go to the Google Map, then click on each letter to see a summary of the events for each day.

Passion Week – Palm Sunday

Passion Week – Monday

Passion Week – Tuesday

Passion Week – Wednesday

Passion Week – Thursday – Part 1

Passion Week – Thursday – Part 2

Passion Week – Thursday – Part 3

Passion Week – Good Friday

Passion Week – Saturday

Passion Week – Easter Sunday

Theology Thursdays – 13 Major differences between Catholicism and Protestantism

Source: flickr.com viaStephanie on Pinterest

 

Let me up front. I am a Pastor and a member of a Protestant church. I wasn’t raised in a Catholic or Protestant church. I have had close family that were raised Catholic. Many of the people I go to church with have a Catholic background and some of the staff I work with have a Catholic background.

So while I definitely agree with the Protestant views below, I have respect for my Catholic friends. I am not seeking to bash the Catholic church or my Catholic friends. I simply want to point out some differences in doctrine since I get asked this question often from people and friends. So please know my heart is to provide clarity. Not start another reformation.

(Adapted and taken from Wayne Grudem – Class handout for Theology 501, Phoenix Seminary)

1. Church Authority

• Catholic View: Authority of the Pope and the church Magisterium (= Pope + bishops).**
• Protestant View: The apostles left their writings (= the New Testament) to take their place as the governing authority over the church; thus, the Bible, not any human person, has ultimate authority over the church.

2. The Authority of Tradition and the Bible

• Catholic View: Tradition (= the authoritative teaching of the church through history) is an authority alongside Scripture.
• Protestant View: The canon of Scripture is closed and no later teachings have authority equal to it.

3. The Apocrypha

• Catholic View: The Apocrypha is part of the Bible.
• Protestant View: The Apocrypha should not be part of the Bible: not counted as such by first century Jews, by Jesus, by New Testament authors; or by the Roman Catholic church until 1546.

4. Prayer.

• Catholic View: We should pray to Mary and other saints.
• Protestant View: We should pray to God alone, through Christ alone.

5. Worship.

• Catholic View: The “Veneration” of Mary. (which seems to Protestants to be worship of Mary).
  
• Protestant View: We should worship only God, not any created being.

6. The sacrifice of Christ.

• Catholic View: There is a continuing sacrifice of Christ in the mass.
• Protestant View: Christ’s sacrifice was finished once for all time on the cross.

7. The role of Mary

• Catholic View: Mary is an “Advocate, Helper, Benefactress, and Mediatrix” with Christ.
• Protestant View: Salvation is earned for us by Christ alone.

8. Justification

• Catholic View: Justification is not by faith alone, but by faith plus use of means of grace to produce moral purity in us, and not completed in this life.
• Protestant View: Justification is by faith alone (this is the heart of the Gospel).

9. The Role of Baptism

• Catholic View: Regeneration and justification come through baptism.
• Protestant View: Baptism is only an outward physical symbol of an inward work of God, and, like all other outward “works,” it does not save anyone.

10. The Sacraments

• Catholic View: There is saving power in the sacraments.
• Protestant View: No works (or sacraments) can earn us merit before God or contribute to our salvation.

11. Purgatory and Heaven

• Catholic View: Purgatory is a place of suffering before people can enter heaven.
• Protestant View:  Believers who die go directly to heaven to be with Christ at once.

12. The True Church

• Catholic View: The Roman Catholic church is the one true church.
•  Protestant View: The true church is wherever the Gospel is truly preached and baptism and the Lord’s Supper are rightly observed.

13. Priests

• Catholic View: Priesthood is a necessary system for dispensing grace.
• Protestant View: All God’s people are now a kingdom of priests and all minister grace to one another through the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

Parenting Wednesdays – Teen rebellion is behavior with a reason

(This info was adapted from the article at http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/parenting_challenges/teen_rebellion.aspx by Pam Woody)

 The topic of teen rebellion usually triggers some kind of emotional response.

It can ignite fear in the hearts of parents who have children on the brink of adolescence; it can prompt both defensiveness and despair in the hearts of parents struggling through the teen years; and it can inspire a sigh of relief for parents who now have adult children.

Whether your teen is opposing your authority or God’s, rebellion is never easy to deal with.

Whether dealing with basic issues such as respect or complex issues such as at-risk behavior, parents sometimes struggle to understand the difference between healthy teenage autonomy and blatant teen rebellion. What looks like rebellion may actually be a teen’s natural “itch” for greater independence.

Why is my teen struggling?

In his book Losing Control & Liking It, Sanford offers some explanation about the struggles most parents face with their teens. He writes:

Your teenager is in the process of moving away from you. Therapists have a term for this: developmental individuating. It means your child is doing the following:

• disconnecting
• leaving the nest
• launching out
• becoming his own person
• growing independent
• becoming a free moral agent

These phrases sound nice and inviting when they crop up on a psychology test covering the “developmental theories” chapter. But they don’t always sound so positive and gentle when they’re lived out in your family room or kitchen.

Still, the theory is right: Your teenager is separating from you and gravitating toward his or her peer group. This process is normal, natural and necessary. Fight it and you’ll lose. The solution is to work with it as well as you can — by understanding what’s yours to control and what isn’t.

What can I do during this season?

The realization that your teen is “in the process of moving away from you” carries with it a blend of panic and relief. There’s panic in feeling a loss of control, and there’s relief in knowing that your teen is in healthy pursuit of an independent adult life. Recognize that you’re not alone in your struggles as a parent during this process, and be open to seeking outside support or counsel.

Dr. Dobson encourages parents, “Don’t panic; stay on your child’s team, even when it appears to be a losing team, and give the whole process time to work itself out.”

Here are six practical ways you can demonstrate relentlessness from the book Parents’ Guide to the Spiritual Mentoring of Teens.

1. Pray, pray, pray.

This habit is placed first on the list because that’s exactly where it belongs. The No. 1 strategy for guiding your child through the teen years is to surround him with prayer. Simply put, relentless parents are those who pray relentlessly.

Moms and dads of teenagers should heed Paul’s admonition to “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This means consistently, throughout the day, asking God to protect, guide and direct your teen. And don’t forget to include yourself in those prayers. Ask the Lord to give you strength, wisdom and courage as you parent your adolescent.

2. Choose to be active and involved.

Be involved in your teen’s life whenever and however you can. Ask questions about her day. Play racquetball with him on the weekends. Go out to breakfast together. Consistently attend games, school plays, choir concerts, piano recitals and speech competitions in which your teen participates. Be there for all the important events — and even the seemingly unimportant ones.

3. Don’t take no for an answer too easily.

Of course, you should respect your teen’s boundaries, but some teenagers say, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “It’s no big deal” because they’re not sure their parents are really interested. Be persistent without being pushy. Assure your teen that you are genuinely interested in, and concerned about, her life and that you’re always available to listen. (It goes without saying that you should, in fact, be accessible and listen attentively when your teen is ready to talk.)

4. Renew your mercies every day.

Every morning should bring a clean slate, a chance to start anew. If last night’s argument was talked out and resolved, leave it behind. If your daughter apologized for the lie she told last week, believe that she’s going to tell the truth today and tomorrow.

5. Nurture yourself as you nurture your teen.

Parents who are chronically depleted and drained of energy can offer little to their teenager. Therefore, it’s vital that you guard your spiritual, emotional and physical health. Do whatever you must to recharge your batteries: Get plenty of rest, set aside time for fun, exercise regularly, pray and meditate on God’s Word.

One of the best ways to nurture yourself is by developing a network of supportive friends — ideally, other parents of teens — with whom you can share concerns, learn from one another’s experiences and pray for one another. If you aren’t already part of a group like this or can’t find an existing one to join, take the initiative and start one in your church or community.

6. Resolve to never, ever give up.

Go the distance, never surrender, stick it out, finish the race, hang in there, be steadfast to the end — whatever terminology you prefer, decide now that you’ll always be there for your teenager. No matter how angry, stressed out, frustrated, disappointed or exhausted you are, resolve to be the best mom or dad you can be. Whether you are preparing for your child’s teen years or are presently in the midst of them, make a commitment — an act of your will — to never give up on your son or daughter.